Thursday, November 16, 2006
It was Mid-90's Yuppie Week at the Food Bank
I'm on the 71 bus to the University District via Downtown. Somewhere in the middle, a scruffy possible hobo hops aboard and takes a seat next to a young, big headphone-wearing metro-chic man. After the bus starts moving, Scruffy Possible Hobo whips out a vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar and begins to chow down.
Scruffy Possible Hobo (to Big Headphone Metro): I'm so full! Do you want the rest of this? [waves bar in front of BHM's face]
BHM (looking put off): Um, no. No thanks.
SPH: Are you sure? It's really good. I don't want it to go to waste.
After dialoguing back and forth for a few minutes, SPH whips out a hunting knife. Several other riders gasp in anticipation of a violent scene. Instead, SPH uses the knife to cut away the portions of the ice cream bar that he has bitten off of.
SHP (giddy with pride): Look! I cut off the part I ate. Do you want it now?
BHM (even more disgusted): I have no idea where that knife has been. You could have AIDS on there or [pause] crack rock dust.
SHP: Man, I'm totally clean. It's so good. Seriously. [long disappointed pause] I guess I'll just have to finish it myself.
At this point, SHP looks completely broken hearted. He waits a few moments, shoulders hunched, and then finishes his ice cream bar. Once he's done, he pulls out a tall boy of ZIMA and chugs it. He gets off at the next stop. BHM looks on, completely unfazed.
I'm on the 71 bus to the University District via Downtown. Somewhere in the middle, a scruffy possible hobo hops aboard and takes a seat next to a young, big headphone-wearing metro-chic man. After the bus starts moving, Scruffy Possible Hobo whips out a vanilla Haagen-Dazs ice cream bar and begins to chow down.
Scruffy Possible Hobo (to Big Headphone Metro): I'm so full! Do you want the rest of this? [waves bar in front of BHM's face]
BHM (looking put off): Um, no. No thanks.
SPH: Are you sure? It's really good. I don't want it to go to waste.
After dialoguing back and forth for a few minutes, SPH whips out a hunting knife. Several other riders gasp in anticipation of a violent scene. Instead, SPH uses the knife to cut away the portions of the ice cream bar that he has bitten off of.
SHP (giddy with pride): Look! I cut off the part I ate. Do you want it now?
BHM (even more disgusted): I have no idea where that knife has been. You could have AIDS on there or [pause] crack rock dust.
SHP: Man, I'm totally clean. It's so good. Seriously. [long disappointed pause] I guess I'll just have to finish it myself.
At this point, SHP looks completely broken hearted. He waits a few moments, shoulders hunched, and then finishes his ice cream bar. Once he's done, he pulls out a tall boy of ZIMA and chugs it. He gets off at the next stop. BHM looks on, completely unfazed.
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remember in 99 when John Farley got arrested and suspended for being caught with Zima in his backpack during a Junior health class lesson teaching the particulars of the breathalizer system hands-on. Hamer got a laugh out of Zima and Farley.
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