Tuesday, November 08, 2005
To [visit] Folk That Han [been vigorously hoping to] Wedded Hem With Rynges
One more Chaucer paper and it's off to meet the parents, bitches!
In a grand display of both maturity and commitment, D is flying to the first landing place of the pilgrims (also known as Provincetown, MA) to attend an elaborate and entirely overwhelming Thanksgiving celebration hosted by my parents. As my entire experience with bringing a significant other home for the holidays consists driving twenty minutes back and forth between PB's house and mine, I am shit out of luck when it comes to handling this particular situation. Basically, if D wants to drunkenly consume pie and shoot passive aggressive statements at each other from across the table, I'm completely prepared. Gritting my teeth through photo shoots by the fireplace? Hit me. Lay incapacitated on the couch with moans of "don't touch me I'm so full of stuffing" and "do your parents hate me as much as I hate them?" I was born ready.
However, as is a recurring theme in our relationship, I have no idea how to not run damage control when it comes to social situations. Or any situation, for that matter. Perhaps it is the ever co-dependent event coordinator in me, or perhaps I am too much like my mother (you know, the one that holds her master's in rehab counseling?), but when given the opportunity to relax and enjoy myself in the moment, I tend to search for possible problems that may arise. I am in no way worried about how D will handle himself. You see, I have finally come to terms with the fact that D is a gentleman, a near grown-up, and is perfectly capable of being kind and respectful to others.
That said, I have composed a short list of possible things that may go wrong during his stay at La Casita de Loca:
But really, who could possibly be afraid of two women who travel across the country with their dog in search of photo ops like the one below?
One more Chaucer paper and it's off to meet the parents, bitches!
In a grand display of both maturity and commitment, D is flying to the first landing place of the pilgrims (also known as Provincetown, MA) to attend an elaborate and entirely overwhelming Thanksgiving celebration hosted by my parents. As my entire experience with bringing a significant other home for the holidays consists driving twenty minutes back and forth between PB's house and mine, I am shit out of luck when it comes to handling this particular situation. Basically, if D wants to drunkenly consume pie and shoot passive aggressive statements at each other from across the table, I'm completely prepared. Gritting my teeth through photo shoots by the fireplace? Hit me. Lay incapacitated on the couch with moans of "don't touch me I'm so full of stuffing" and "do your parents hate me as much as I hate them?" I was born ready.
However, as is a recurring theme in our relationship, I have no idea how to not run damage control when it comes to social situations. Or any situation, for that matter. Perhaps it is the ever co-dependent event coordinator in me, or perhaps I am too much like my mother (you know, the one that holds her master's in rehab counseling?), but when given the opportunity to relax and enjoy myself in the moment, I tend to search for possible problems that may arise. I am in no way worried about how D will handle himself. You see, I have finally come to terms with the fact that D is a gentleman, a near grown-up, and is perfectly capable of being kind and respectful to others.
That said, I have composed a short list of possible things that may go wrong during his stay at La Casita de Loca:
- My mother may attempt to impart her vital knowledge of heterosexual love-making
- My dog may decide it's feeding time (you know how crazy she gets when she's all juiced up)
- D may finally realize just what particular brand of crazy I am sponsored by and high tail it back to Mildville (that's right next to Functionalberg, for those of you not familiar with the area)
But really, who could possibly be afraid of two women who travel across the country with their dog in search of photo ops like the one below?
