Sunday, March 06, 2005
Conversations I Have Had in the Past Week
Mom: You know how you always make fun of me for saying "porno" when we get the spam?
Me: Mom, it's not "we've got the spam" like "he's got the cancer". No one says "porno". It's totally creepy.
Mom: Well, I was thinking about it, and I think it's just your generation that doesn't say "porno". When I was young, it's was slang.
Me: Please don't tell me you were at one time in porn.
Mom: No, but I did see that porno movie, Deep Throat.
Me: This little talk is over.
***
Me: When we're in the mob, you're name's Elizabeth "The Bug" Gokay. Now give me a mob name.
Liz: Mama Ho Ho.
Me: Mama Ho Ho is my mob name?
Liz: Sounds good, doesn't it?
Me: I want to go on a date, Bug.
Liz: Well, you should try going somewhere besides the bathroom. Seriously though, come to Hampshire without your boytoy and we will get beautiful men.
Me: Yes, yes, yes! Mama Ho Ho like.
Liz: Ha, ha.
Me: Man, I gotta piss.
Liz: You're beautiful.
***
God: Hey, Drew, what are you up to?
Me: Nothing much, just the usual.
God: So you're hard at work?
Me: Actually, I'm watching Dawson's Creek and eating Cheetos.
God: I thought you gave all that up?
Me: No man, I'm back to my old ways. Viva los Cheetos. Screw responsibility.
God: Oh, dear.
Me: Well, I'm off to smoke cigarettes and have premarital sex. Talk to you later!
Mom: You know how you always make fun of me for saying "porno" when we get the spam?
Me: Mom, it's not "we've got the spam" like "he's got the cancer". No one says "porno". It's totally creepy.
Mom: Well, I was thinking about it, and I think it's just your generation that doesn't say "porno". When I was young, it's was slang.
Me: Please don't tell me you were at one time in porn.
Mom: No, but I did see that porno movie, Deep Throat.
Me: This little talk is over.
***
Me: When we're in the mob, you're name's Elizabeth "The Bug" Gokay. Now give me a mob name.
Liz: Mama Ho Ho.
Me: Mama Ho Ho is my mob name?
Liz: Sounds good, doesn't it?
Me: I want to go on a date, Bug.
Liz: Well, you should try going somewhere besides the bathroom. Seriously though, come to Hampshire without your boytoy and we will get beautiful men.
Me: Yes, yes, yes! Mama Ho Ho like.
Liz: Ha, ha.
Me: Man, I gotta piss.
Liz: You're beautiful.
***
God: Hey, Drew, what are you up to?
Me: Nothing much, just the usual.
God: So you're hard at work?
Me: Actually, I'm watching Dawson's Creek and eating Cheetos.
God: I thought you gave all that up?
Me: No man, I'm back to my old ways. Viva los Cheetos. Screw responsibility.
God: Oh, dear.
Me: Well, I'm off to smoke cigarettes and have premarital sex. Talk to you later!
